Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)


Is there a way to speed up this film? Otherwise, Bill Haydon’s not a mole but a snail. (He’s still Kim Philby, however.)

Sped up, it’d be a better movie even though it’d take on a 1920s style–Gary Oldman (the new George Smiley) and the others racing about talking in helium voices. A real Circus.

Just keep checking for the faster version.

There is only one film I can think of that’s slower than this new version of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy: A “visual artist” named Douglas Gordon slowed Psycho down to a twenty-four-hour length. Novelist Don DeLillo thinks Gordon’s 24 Hour Psycho makes us “alive to what is happening in the smallest registers of motion.” Oh, wow. I’m guessing the more likely pandering nonsense is along the lines, “Each viewer takes away something deeply personal from the slowed-down version.” Or maybe brings something deeply personal, such as a change of underwear? Well anyway, I hope viewers were allowed to carry in breakfast, lunch and dinner. Since the murder scene in the shower unfolds over an hour or two, it probably wouldn’t spoil your appetite. (Wonder what was done about Bernard Herrmann’s score? Slowed down, those shrieking violins would sound like chalk scratched across a blackboard.  “Please stop that awful screeching, Mr. Smiley, and I’ll tell you who the mole is!”)

Speaking of the new Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, I’d bring a flashlight to the theater. Some of the scenes are really dark. (This thing would’ve really depressed Thomas Kincaid.) Otherwise, you’ll be asking things like, “That you, Smiley?”

If I hear anything about a faster version available on DVD, I’ll let you know. Been on hold for several hours. Maybe I’ll catch 24 Hour Psycho while I’m on hold.